soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
