am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
