i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize