dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ok first of all what the fuck
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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