We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
