Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
