I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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