Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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