How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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