I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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