He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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