so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
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You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
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what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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