WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
