dude i'm inner monologue high
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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