We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
