My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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