Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
