help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
