I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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