It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
