doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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