i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Come share oat with me in your robe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
