This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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