have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
