This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
