I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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