How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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