I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
