That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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