Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
