fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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