I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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