It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
