the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
