We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
