Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
