The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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