I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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