The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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