what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
