She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
