I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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