didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize