even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
