So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
