im drinking this country out of the recession.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
