I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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