She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
