I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
