Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
