he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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