your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
