I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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