she was so not down for the gang bang
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
