Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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