i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
