Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
