my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize