My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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