GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he fucked my hip out of place.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
