I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind