Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.