I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.