Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.