Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.