I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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