the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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