did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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