and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
