haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
