the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
