this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
